My definition of forgiveness is accepting things as it is or was. It’s to release resentment or any negative (red light) feelings that the person had caused.
Whew! Let’s get into it!
During my self therapy journey, I learned that there are stages of forgiveness. Stay with me...
1. Uncovering Phase. This is where your understanding of the injustice will improve. You’ll see how the injustice affected you.
2. Decision Phase. While gaining a deeper understanding of forgiveness, you’ll have the option to choose forgiveness or reject forgiveness. (What’s the pros and cons of deciding to forgive the person who wronged you.) - How might things be different if you [DO] forgive?
3. Work Phase. During this phase, you’re now capable of understanding the “offender” in a new light. This will allow positive/or better feelings toward both yourself and the offender. (((TOUGH PHASE‼️‼️)))
4. Deepening Phase. Your negative emotions from the injustice may decrease as you find meaning behind the experiences. Think about this; (Are there benefits from forgiving the offender? Make sure you consider how forgiveness has affected your emotional health, behavioral changes, and time/energy spent pondering about the offender). Forgiveness allows you to be a little more free.
I honestly felt better going through the stages of forgiveness. I spend less time thinking about the situation. I understood things the offender might have been going through that caused them to do what they did (which doesn’t make their wrong doings ok). I feel more “free.” Free from recurring thoughts of the injustice that was done to me. Free from red light emotions. Forgiveness is difficult. It’s a process. But it is worth it.